Jock Anderson

As the All Blacks limp home from South Africa and members of the 1981 Springbok squad remember that colourful tour, a piece of long-forgotten memorabilia has emerged that might cause a few eyes to water.

A 25 year old tape recording includes a couple of cheery anthems which were considered at the time by those who made it suitable to acknowledge and celebrate the 1981 Tour.

One item is called “The Great New Zealand Red Squad Anthem” – a reference to a special group of police tasked not only with protecting the Springboks but also sorting out anti-tour protestors.

The lyrics are simple, involving little more than the repeated chanting of the words: “Root more, Eat more, Drink more beer.”

But the gem of the archive is a much longer and joyous ditty, sung by a chorus of men accompanied by piano, which begins with the words:

 “We are the homosexual All Blacks, we are sensitive and gentle to a man…

We show our class, ‘specially with the forward pass…

Then dress up like Doris Day and take it up the arse…

How we love the rough and tumble of the rucking…

We adore the touch and fumble of the play…

Do not think we’re few, rucking on the 22…

We are unrepentant benders and all our friends are too…”

And so on in similar vein.

What is particularly interesting about the recording, apparently made at Marmalade Studios, is that a celebrated advertising agency, as well as a number of folk well-known at the time including a singularly famous Irishman, were involved in its making.

Some of them are still household brands.

Feedback on this story to jockanderson@ihug.co.nz