“So, let’s get this straight, Case Load,” pondered Our Man At The Bar. “What you’re really saying is that the People’s Revolutionary Sentencing Council proposed by the all-caring socialist Government is an integral part of a cunning plan to do away with lawyers once and for all? The secret papers slipped to you from your confidential sources in the Attorney-General’s office spell it our as plain as day? So the plan is to stop lawyers cluttering up the courts with time-wasting mumblings on behalf of the guilty, who will get their just desserts anyway from a fixed scale of penalties linked directly to the tattoos, facial hair, closeness of eyes and general shiftiness of their briefs?  That’s a good start and should weed out a few briefs,” joked OMATB. “So when the wallopers nab a bed egg for doing something or other, they’ll email a judge with their version of events, His Honour can text up a range of well-worn excuses used by lawyers, match this to the prescribed sentencing scale, tick the box and weigh the scoundrel off? All by return email. No belts, pins or pulleys. No need for courtrooms and all that nonsense? Jolly good scheme. Keeps judges out of court too. Courts are no places for decent chaps to hang about. Better things to do. Damned impertinent to disturb Their Honours in The Gin Room, anyway. Need more of it, I say. Take the weight, old boy, pocket’s a bit light today.”